SubscribeCoping With The Death Of A Best Friend
Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. — Ana Nin
Meaningful and deep friendships are a wonderful part of a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes, when we are quite lucky, one of these dear friends grows into best friend. A rare title, a best friend is our alter-ego, born of shared history, shared values, and ten thousand laughs. Our best friend becomes part of our chosen family — the first person we call to share a joy, the one we call at 2:00 a.m. in times of emergency.
Last March my best friend, Dale, died of sudden heart attack. There was no indication of heart trouble; I was literally laughing with him one weekend and attending his funeral the next. The shock still reverberates today and I constantly stumble over the realization that he 's gone. As I try to process his death, I have two recurring thoughts. The first: We didn 't even have a chance talk about this — and we talked about everything.The second: I have such a long time to live without him around; how do I navigate the years ahead? Strange the things we ruminate on when grief-stricken.
Dale and I matured into our friendship — connecting first in college, moving to the big city after graduation, building our careers together, detailing romantic misadventures with each other, processing joys and heartaches over countless cups of coffee. Volumes of inside jokes conspired to form a language that was all our own. Without him, it seems I am losing this language entirely. Much of who I am and the way I view the world was developed with him as my sounding board. He was a bit of me; I was a bit of him. The investment we had in each other was broad, deep, and intensely personal.
So how do we survive the loss of part of ourselves? The death of a best friend is different than the death a parent or spouse; there are no sympathy cards that quite fit the bill. There's no term for this loss and folks expect an abbreviated mourning period and offer a different, lighter brand of sympathy. The last four months have given me a crash course in coping and, although I do each imperfectly, there are a few points I keep in mind as I work through the grief. If you find yourself in the unfortunate position of a similar loss, I hope these strategies can help you chart your own course in a territory largely unmapped:
1. Take time to mourn
It may not be readily offered, so take the time to mourn and don't worry about some arbitrary timeline as you process the loss. As your life marches on, take an hour here or an afternoon there to remember your friend. As with all grief, the worst stings will subside with time and be replaced by a softer ache. Talk with friends and family, let yourself cry, take trips down memory lane and let this process move forward naturally.
2. Create a legacy
When you feel ready, honor your friend's life through volunteer work or charitable donations in keeping with his priorities and passions. Dale was an animal lover — his cats were like his children. Making a donation to the ASPCA in his memory brought me a bit of comfort and will be the way I acknowledge special dates of our friendship in the years to come.
3. Seek support.
Family and close friends can help you cope with the grief. Don't be afraid to let others know how deeply the loss has touched you. People can only rise to the occasion when they truly understand how much they 're needed. You 'll be surprised how the smallest acts of kindness and empathy can change your entire mood at the toughest moments.
4. Preserve your memories
It may sound cliché, but scrapbooking memories can help tremendously in processing feelings. There were so many things about my friendship with Dale that I didn't want to forget, that the fear of forgetting became a stressor in itself. Document the important moments — keep a journal of random memories or scrapbook photos and mementos. As the years give way to years, you 'll be glad you took the time to preserve these memories while still fresh in your mind.
5. Realize your friend will never be replaced
Friendship is renewable, but people are not. Realize that no person or new friendship will ever quite replace the one you've lost. To consciously seek out a replacement only marks the loss more and highlights the comparative shortcomings any candidate for the title of "new best friend" will surely have. Give yourself time to develop new relationships naturally and let them take their own unique paths.
6. Open yourself up to new and different friendships
Loss rightly shuts us down for a time, but don't let sadness become your new companion. Though no friendship will look or feel quite the same as the old, new friendships can, over time, become just as profound and rewarding. Own your capacity to be a best friend and enjoy the journey toward new connections.
Day by day, I adjust to life without my best friend. On particularly bad days, I take it moment by moment. No doubt, Dale and I had a lot left to learn from each other, but I'm glad we had those 18 years. He will always be partly responsible for the man I've become — the humor I find in life's little absurdities, my ear for good music, my ability to see the best in people. He would have wanted me to write this and would have wanted me to eventually move beyond the grief and embrace new friendships with as much devotion as I embraced ours.
Thank you so much for writing this... I have been going nuts trying to figure this lnr\ew life out without my friend,,,
Again, Thank you
i am going through the same thing that you are doing only thing is that i am 16 years old and my bestfriend cherelle clarke had commited suicide in 2009 i have been blaming her death on me because i had thought that maybe there is something that i could of done to prevent this and i couldn't she had ment the world to me and now she is not here i had so many things planned for me and her to do and now i cant do anything because i rezent myself for letting something like that happen to her and i couldn't help her and now i feel like i was nothing because i didn't
Hi Alexis
very sorry to hear about your friend. i lost my best friend when he and i were 17. I'll never forget him and the times we had together, its 3o years on now and i'm married with kids and i often think about what would have become of him if he had lived a longer life. I'm 47 now and i've just lost another dear friend and that why i checked out this site. The deaths of friends and family are always heartbreaking, i'm going through it again now. Some grief is always there to a greater or lesser extent but the deaths that have affected me also reaffirmed my belief in living a good life and making the most of the time i have on this crazy beautiful planet
Thank you..... Found your message comforting during these difficult times. I have always loved my birthdays, but this will be my first without my best friend. Celebration doesn't seem appropriate... Life without her is not the same. There's a permanent void... Thanks!
Hey, I am really in alot of stress at the moment. Due to the fact that my bestfriend, Drema Walls, died in a car accident on Monday. She was a girl that was quiet, but friendly. She made friends really fast with everyone. She loved her friends, but we were very close. People are gossiping and it is all over the news about her relationship with Dustin Justice. They were bestfriends and even I could tell you that. She had a personality like no other person will ever have. I cant except the fact that she is really gone. I dont know how. She will always be in my heart. She made an impact on my life, and i told her that a day before she died. Maybe she took that thought with her. She was amazing. Shew, I feel all alone because none of my other friends think that I should talk about her to them. I dont know what to do. Can you please help me?
Hi all,
I just lost my best Friend Michael "Bart" Bartholomuwe a little over a week ago, one weekend we were watching the football playoffs at my home and the next weekend he's dead of a heart attack. He has taken a hugh piece of me with him and I can't seem to function without it, curently broken. Working to fix the hole in my life. So many people loved Bart he will be greatly missed, I'll never be the same man I was before his death, not sure I want to be. I love him and miss him so very much.
Dave
Tqvm for sharing this.
Most of them are very much similar to my own feelings... I lost my BFF of 25 years last January.
tq again..
I lost my best friend since 3rd grade on March 1st 2012 due to cancer. I am lost without her.
I know exactly what ur going through. I lost my bestfriend in april 2012 due to brain cancer. She was still so young and im having trouble copeing. I feel all alone no one i know understands what i am going through. Just thought you should know you are not alone
My best friend since 7th grade died unexpectedly 13 days ago. A part of my heart is broken. It helps to see what you folks have written, to know that it's natural to be knocked off center in such a way.
My best friend just died suddenly of a heart attack. I am having to work through thinking I could have prevented it & could have argued with the doctor he saw recently that he should be given a full check-up, if I had googled a medical symptom he had, before instead of after he died. Maybe the doctor was right, maybe he wasn't. I'll never know.
I hate the categories people seem to put you into at a time like this - if you loved someone I don't think it's relevant whether you were a friend or a couple. You loved them, you've lost them, that's what matters.
I keep thinking I'll tell him what I think of the family of his that I've now met, his other friends & contacts, the joking about it......I think of the kind of conversation we will have, I look forward to it....& then remember it won't happen.
Thank you so much for this article. It really helps.
My best friend for life. Just died in a motorcycle accident last night. I am devestated. He saved me so many times. Thank you for writing this. I have never been so devestated with a death in my life.
Seems strange to say but my best, dearest friend of over 50 years died in Nov 2011 and I just found out about it two days ago. Hadn't spoken in years because of of an issue which was totally my doing. My pride and embarrasment kept me from contacting him. We grew up together, walking to school every morning as children and sharing our lives throught high school and first year of college. Talked him into joining the Air Force with me, with the plan of joining the CHP afterwards. He was my best man at my wedding. Our families would vacation together and we watched our children growup. We learned to fly together and worked at a hospital for awhile while finishing school and waiting to go into law enforcement. He was a loyal, trusted friend whom everyone loved. I realize with him gone our unique memories, that only he and I shared, are a memory only in my mind. We can no longer look at each other, say a word to rekindle a memory and laugh like hell. We were the witnesses to each others life. Being 68 years old, I have experienced the passing of friends, parents, family and others in my life. None of these losses compares to the heartbreak of the loss of my best friend. There is a hole in my heart. I loved my friend.....
My best friend that I have known since we were 8 years old died suddenly last week. Just typing these words are hard. I still can't believe it. I've noticed that people don't seem to understand the depth of my grief. She was the one who I was supposed to grow old with. We've been together through husbands, accidents, family deaths, high school. I feel like a big chunk has been taken out of my heart. My chest literally aches. Thank you all for letting me write this and for sharing your pain. It helps to know someone understands.
My sympathy, I do know what you are talking about, my chest actually aches too, my best friend since grade 1 just passed a month ago from cancer, she battled it for 4 years, I foolish thought I was somewhat prepared as she had been sick for so long......not the case. I feel so off balance right now, will break out crying anywhere anytime, cannot control it, she has left a huge void. I do acknowledge what you said that generally people do not understand the depth of grief. Her and I were suppose to grow old together, retire together, not sure what to do now, the pain is so overwhelming. Thanks for listening
I lost my best friend on Dec 23, 2011, and I am still having a very hard time with it, we were friends from the age of 3 and we also have been through school, marrage, we raised our children together, she divorced twice and she finally met the love of her life and he got along so well with my husband that we felt so lucky to have them and now her boyfriend passed, also from cancer in March 2012, Now we have lost them both and I still can't believe they are gone. I never write to anyone on the net I usually just do research, but I had to respond to you because you sound so much like me. and I must tell you that even if you had time to prepare as I did, ( She was sick for a year and a half) and after her first operation I reall thought she was going to make it, I couldn't imagne my world without her, I don't remember my world before her I was only 3. But still even thought she was sick for so long it still is very hard to deal with it, and I totally understand you. the other reason I had to respond to you is because my friends name was Diane. I'll say a prayer for you, Bless You, Linda
I've read all your stories, and they are just like mine in a way, I also lost my bestfriend. He past away four years ago and till this day I shed a tear every know and then... Its so diffucult to talk about it with the people around me, about how i really feel still..i tried going to therapy the year he died but i couldent stay their..sometimes i just want to scream!!!!! its so hard to let go, and i wish i could just move on. the night after the accident i had a dream about him that he huged me, and it was so wierd because we never huged because we thought it was odd..but anyways im so glad i was able to write this tonight because i just want to get it off my chest..
I just lost my best friend 7/30/12 she died unexpectedly....autopsy results not in yet. I miss her so much, we used to text or talk everyday. Even though we hadn't seen each other in years, I'm having a hard time, every time I get a text or the phone rings I think of her. I guess it's still hasn't sunk in. It's so hard for people to see just how close we were. We knew each other all our lives and had a lot of history together. Our mutual friends think that we had a casual friendship and don't realize how hard her death is for me. I hope she knew that I cherished her. She taught me patience, unconditional love and to never give up. I know I will never have a friend like her again. I love you and miss you my beautiful friend Virgie, love Rose
I lost my best friend about a month ago for four years we did and shared everything . She helped me come out of a depression I was in all my life and actually helped me feel happiness and pride again. I thought we would have years more to build our friendship but she died, she just died. She is gone and I'm still here petrified I will forget her, terrified I will slip back into deep depression and numbness as before and terrified that i will forever feel this loss and guilt. She did so much for me why couldn't I save her, she was healthy had just had a check up a few months ago.
I posted here about 3 weeks ago, my best friend in the world died June 24, her name was Sue, I knew her all my life, I am not sure what to do with out her, she has always been there, I dont remember a time without her. I still get short periods when I forget and go to call her, and for just one moment, its like she is still there. I miss talking to her and laughing, she always knew just what to say to make me smile. I think things will not sting so much with time, but right now, its overwhelming. I think I am going to join a grief support group, hopefully it will help somewhat
I lost my best friend on 08/15/2012. She was in an auto accident on 08/03/2012. She faught so hard. We have been best friends for 29 years. Since early childhood. I do not know how to cope with the loss. It is worse than any family member ive lost. I have planned her service, cremation, paid for everthing, even the obit and tomorrow on the 18th I will speak at her funeral. I feel like all of these things are the last thing I will ever do for her. She was such a beautiful light. My heart is falling out of my chest. What can I do? The worse part is that her daughter was 19 and driving the car. Not only am I at a loss for my friend, but I am also trying to keep her kid from going off of the deep end. Ive tried so many time to pick up the phone and call my BF to let her know whats going on and get advice, but she doesnt answer. She never will again.
I just found out last week my best friend (18 years) has inoperable pancreatic cancer. I miss her already and she is still here. I dont want her to suffer. I will put in my favorites because I will be back on here thoughout the process.
I cry alot, but I cry alone most of the time. I just cant stop my heart from breaking. It feels like I cant breathe sometimes.
She is a very independant woman, she doesnt want you to do for her. I just hope I can help her through this without hurting her.
Until next time, me
thanks for sharing this...
i lost my best friend to lung cancer this past june 2012. she fought her cancer for two years. then we got the news that it spread to her brain. with in a month she was put in hosipice and given weeks to live. i miss my friend, she balanced me out. i feel off center now a days and think that i need psychological help. and then i can hear her voice saying...what are you doing! she was a one of a kind and i need to keep moving because she would have. she fought her cancer all the way, she made me proud...she never gave up.
miss you e
My best friend of 25 years has just passed away unexpectly a fews days ago with pneumonia 23/8/2012. I am still in shock and I just don't want to believe this. She was like a big sister to me. I called her whenever I had a question or problem and was always there for me. She was highly intilegent and with good sense of humour. She recenly offered me a lot of help through my divorce and I know she wanted to see the end of it and see it done right but ..... I must be strong and fight for the case for the sake of her. At the same time my second best friend just found out he has inoperable pancreatic cancer and was told he only got 4 months to live but if chemo works well, then 6 months maybe... I just can't believe it! What have I done to deserve these? They're both healthy and fit people and very careful with their diet and fitness level, only in their 60s. How come this has happened to them. I talked to them frequently and now how can I cope with double grief plus my difficult divorce I feel like screaming shouting, I have to be strong for my dear friends. They tried their best to help me to be strong I must not fall and get depressed, I have a battle to fight and both of my dear friends had spent months, years, to help me I mustn't disappoint them. I cried for bot of them a lot. Glad I found this website, you guys have expressed all the grief feeling I am having. Now I feel I am not alone. Thanks for the website and thanks for everyone who has conttributed here.
I am sorry about your loss.
I lost my best friend Irene in June, 2012, as I am typing this mail, it seems still a shock and unbelievable. Though she was sick, I never thought of the worst, and when it did happen, I was so many thousands of kilometers away and could not even attend the funeral. We have shared so much together, gone on holidays etc etc. I always comfort myself by looking at the lovely times we had together, and thanking God for her lovely but short life. I pray for healing everyday for her family and friends. I want all those mournimg today for a loved one, to take solace knowing their loved one is now in peace with his or her maker. The lesson for us all the living is to try and live a good life and forget about all the hurt we cause to each other day in day out. It is not worth it. We should hold our families and friends closely to our hearts and pray for God's peace.
My friend who I knew for over 50 years was found dead yesterday in his favourite armchair in his apartment in London by his brother. I was speaking to him on the phone a few days before - he told me about his plans for a vacation to Sicily soon, and how he had been out and about all over London recently. Certainly not the things I would have thought a dying man would say.
The cause of death is not known yet. There were certainly no major health problems that were known about. As far as health is concerned, it should have been me, not him.
It's just terrible isn't it, sitting and ruminating on all the things you should have said, should not have said, even blaming oneself for some reason. A timely reminder of our own mortality is all I can come up with at the moment.
Thanks for reading this, my good friends, whoever and wherever you are.
I lost my best friend of 2 years on June 2, 2012 from a car accident. I hadn't called anyone my best friend for years prior to her and neither did she. We were inseparable, the two of us. Everyone saw how much we loved each other and admired that love. Everywhere we went, people knew we were happy when we were together. She had such a beautiful heart and often questioned her worth to others. She never felt loved enough but when she died the real impact she had shined through. Devastation was everywhere. The bar that she called her "Cheers" was broken, people she just met cried uncontrollably. The night of the accident she had been drinking and as much as I tried to convince her not to drive, I decided to offer to follow her home. We were on the freeway for less than five minutes when she sent a text message and lost control of her vehicle. I, her best friend, was supposed to protect her, keep her out of harms way as I always did and instead I had to watch her die right in front of my eyes. The car flipping, my screams, my feeling of helplessness still haunts me. I am seeking help for my traumatic event but I miss her everyday and don't know how to process this still. I still think I'm going to get a text from her every now and then. Luckily I have a great support group around me but I don't want to miss her. I want her back. :'(
My best friend died in a car accident Jan. 28, 2012. Today is her 36th birthday. I am just now figuring out the purpose and reason why she was in my life for a short period of time. I wonder if it will be another twenty something years before I have another "quality" friend like Jen.
my best friend of 25 years has been losing the fight with alchohol addiction and has been dying of liver failure for some time now. he is only 34, but looks 104 and refused any help and intervention until it was too late. we should have had another 30 years of friendship ahead of us instead of this truly senseless death. it is hard to lose your best friend but it has been even harder to know that it didnt have to be this way. thank you for your site. i hope i will be able to take from his death some lessons that i can teach to my children..
Thank you so much for writing and posting this. I am so sorry for your loss.
As well as everyone who has read and replied. I just found out only hours ago that my
Co-worker turn best-friend for the last 3yrs passed last night in his sleep.
I know I have yet to see even the first test in proving how powerful grief
Can be; but I feel like this post has prepared me at least a tidbit for what lies ahead the long dreaded journey I now have to travel solo. Please keep me in your prayers. As will I In rememberIng everyone who has loved and lost.
My best friend died unexpectedly in her sleep yesterday. She would have been 31 in three days. Her loss is deep, and I feel like part of me has died with her. We met in college; almost ten years of an amazing friendship, filled with laughter and growth. I thought we would be friends into old age. We were going to do so much - go on a safari, go back to Australia. Now who will I have my dinner and movie nights with? Who will understand just how I feel? I miss her so much. And if she can hear me and read these words - this is not cool! But I know I will see her again, and she'll be smiling that same wonderful smile.
It is good to read all this. I lost my best friend to cancer in March of 2011, and I still mourn for her. Last night I just found out that my high school friend passed away from cancer. I did not know she was so sick. I feel terribly guilty for not knowing...I will miss her. She had such poor quality of life the last few years. I feel like nobody understands. another good freind committed suicide in April, and I lost my boyfriend to pancreatic cancer in 8/09. I have had so much loss, my heart is broken.
My best friend fell asleep at the wheel and died on impact last week. It was completely unexpected and I am still in shock. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. Ive been having a difficult time trying to process everything and accepting that my best friend is gone and I will never see her again. I feel numb and my chest is filled with sadness. I hope to someday cope with this loss and continue living life as she would've wanted to. All I can do for now is take life day by day and trust that she is in a better place now.
I lost my best friend on the 11th of september of this year. One minute she was telling me she was in the hospital, 12 hours later over facebook I know that she passed away. She wasn't here in Germany, she was in Saudi Arabia and apparently it was a mistake. She was given the wrong medication. She was a girl full of love and fears. Shw was unique in her own way, she came from a society and an ideology of oppresion into one where she was free. I remember her telling me she didn't want to be there, she wanted to come back. the last night I saw her was june 13th, and it was excitingm me going to Mexico, she to Saudi Arabia, both to visit our relatives. I cam back and she hadn't but she was planning to come back... I wish I had stayed away from Germany. My life is simply not the same, sometimes I feel like I am still waiting for her to come back and I can't seem to get over this. I am in a very deep depression and I don't know how to go on without her. I don't have the strength not the motivation. She was also my lover and she meant the entire world to me. She taught me so much, she made my life so much easier....and now, everything seems to be falling, I am falling. I know I have to be strong, but I don't want to be strong. I love my family and friends, but without her it is just not the same. I am suffering so much. All I want to so is to go to Saudi Arabi and die there and lay next to her. I really don't know how am I ever gonna be happy, who am I going to call when I have nightmares. Who will make me laugh, when will I be able to go back to where we used to hang out, when am I going to find myself again. When will I feel lhappy and complete again? When will I realize that she is gone forever? There are so many questions... and feelings and everything is tormenting me. The memories are there, her voice is there and I miss her so much...
My name is Brandon and I am currently 17.... I lost my bestfriend Jay last year on March 1, 2011.... I was devastated when I found out.... him and I were like brothers, both of us saw the pain and wrongs in this world and kept each other going no matter what happened. The last time I talked to him he wanted to end his life and I kept telling him how much he meant to me and everyone else and kept trying to change his mind. I never even went to sleep much that night because I instead decided to stay up with him to make sure he felt better..... one of the last things he told me is "u r an amazing person and my best friend", then later I hadn't heard from him and I had absolutely no idea what was going on because it wasn't like him to disappear all of a sudden.... after a while of searching I found out that he was in the hospital in a coma... I wasn't told the cause although the cause seems most likely like suicide because a couple days before he wrote a suicide letter.... everyday I would wait and hope to get a message saying that he had woken up but then a couple days after March 1, 2011 I got a message saying that my best friend Jay had died in his coma.... it shattered me to the core to hear this.... I was on the ground crying while holding my stomach because I felt like I was going to throw up..... it was SO hard to deal with.... it felt like at that moment time had stopped and I had been dropped into a world that felt even more painful then the world I came to know.... school was difficult for me that week.... constant bullying..... school not caring or doing anything about it, and then dealing with that on top of everything..... it was hell.... then this year was the 1 year anniversary since his death and that entire day all I could feel was the feeling of numbness.... every day since then I have felt sad and upset, even depressed at the fact he is gone and I remember every single time I had talked to him and the worst part was..... I never even got to tell him some important things that I had always wanted to tell him..... everyday I fight the returning emotions of his death and I am still fighting to cope with it all and well, to anyone reading this, I just wanna say that it does get better, and to live life to the fullest, because you never know when life will end and when it does end, you don't wanna go with regrets.
4 days ago, my best friend of 34 years passed away of a heart attack at the young age of 39. He was playing ball hockey with my old high school friends. He passed away on the gym floor while my friends comforted him awaiting the ambulence arrival. I am in complete utter shock to say the least, and am very sad. It seems as though nothing will be the same from this point forward, and am feeling a huge void right now.
Ive been told it gets easier with time and each passing day. i certainly hope this is the case because the longing for my old friends laugh, his kind words and encouragement is something im going to miss. We played hockey together throughout our childhood and teens always on the same team. I was the goalie and he was the defenceman, always protecting me on the ice. As we grew up he still filled that role. with his passing i feel like everyone has a straightline to the net and i have to fend for myself. im not sure i ever will have a friend like him again. My heart is broken.
the last few days all of us who knew him have reached out to each other, grown men hugging and weeping mourning the loss of their beloved best friend. i will not take any friendship our relationship for granted, epecially since time is not guaranteed.
Carson was truly one of a kind, a warm sole and a best friend like no other. He will be missed but will live in my heart forever.
My name is Alexis and i used to have a friend and her name was Cherelle Clarke and she is one of the 4 girls that had commited suicide in the year of 2009 , she was the victum of being bullied and no one had helped her i can still remember it like it was yesterday Cherelle used to come to my house all of the time and she used to help me with my school work bring me to cheerleading pratice and just sleep over at my house and have so much fun with me i am 16 years old now and i had lost my bestfriend when i was 13 years old .... Now that she is not in my life i am depressed and i have no one that i can turn to when i need someone to talk to or to cry to i still have to pictures of when we were little babies and i sleep with them next to my bed just so that way i will never forget who my bestfriend was .. do i was that she didnt commit suicide ? yes !! but that is something that i am going to have to deal with for the rest of my life cherelle was one of the funniest sweetest people that you could of ever met in your life and now she is not here and now she is gone and maybe i should be gone to
Alexis honey, please take this to heart... Cherelle's passing was not your fault. I know people constantly tell you that and I know you only pretend to understand to satisfy them. You are a wonderful person and your life has meaning. Cherelle lost her fight to her internal monsters, please don't go down the same path. You constantly ask youself what you could have done to save her. If I only... I should have... If I had done this... Baby, you can't change the past any more than you can see the future. Would she want you to take your life or would she want you to be happy? Please talk to me, I want to help you handle this. It won't be easy, but I can promise it will get better. I do understand.
I lost my best friend yesturday! She killed herself because she was not happy with her life and got bullied by everyone even her family! Lossing her made me really start to think twice! I am so confused how to live with out her and knowing that she is gone and is never coming back! She was perfect everything she did was perfect she never messed up or anything! I love her with all my heart! Rest in Paradise babycakes
Love your sweecheeks!
My best friend just died from cancer and she had just turned 11. I am really sad and keep telling myself I was a bad friend because I knew she was dieing and didn't call her as much as I should hve even when my parents told me too.
My best friend died from cancer when were 19. That was 6 years ago, and I too feel like a bad friend/guilty for not doing more back then, like calling/texting/visiting. I wish I had taken time away from school to be with him, like my family told me to, but I was just too much in denial I guess. There are still ways to make up for your feelings, make sure you don't ever lose contact with her family. Ever. Good luck Emily, I hope you find your peace in the years ahead.
-CJ
I can relate to this, and love to everyone. My best friend died six years ago and I feel like the world has changed since then. Everyday is a struggle to continue. I never tell anyone this because I feel that people might think that vhis time of greiving is odd. Those people- i think - have not experienced this. Take each day and remember the good times, it will become bearable. that's all I know. x
I searched the title of this thread in Google, "Coping with the death of a best friend", and found this amazing post. I'm sitting here in my house, 6 years since my best friend Jonathan passed away, and just could not stop crying. Everyday I think about how life would have been like had he not passed...the pain is almost unbearable sometimes. Then I read threads like this, helping me not feel so alone. That's the worst part about it all, the constant feeling that nobody understands...but how can anybody else really be able to fully understand, ya know? Can't blame others/be angry at them. I also searched the steps in grief, not like I have not read them before, but as the years have passed the definitions of those stages mean different things in my life. I hope that everybody can find a friend that is so impactful in their own lives, even though losing them is the most saddness I will feel. Jonathan was 19, I knew him since 3rd grade, we were born 9 days apart. I miss you dear friend, not a day goes by without having you in my thoughts. Much love from the otherside, see ya at the crossroads.
My best friend died on 24th of July 2010, she was pregnant and had a massive asthma attack and passed away 6 days later leaving behind her beautiful daughter (my god daughter) I thought I was coping but things have happened recently that have brought so many painful memories and has really brought me face to face with my grief over losing her.
We were joined at the hip, she was a constant source of support, love and laughter when my mum died. There's a huge space in my life and heart where she used to be.
I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this because I don't know anyone else who's lost a best friend and I think everyone thinks I've dealt with it and I'm ok now. I'm feeling as lost and sad now as I did two years ago. Can anyone else relate to this?
I know what you are going through cause i recently just lost a best friend, Its like a hole in your heart that can never be filled by anybody else. My best friend we knew each other since Kindergarten. We were always with each other, Our parents always knew where we were they never had to worry cause her and i never got in trouble, never drank or did drugs together, we were they kind of friends that shared little things like crushes in high school or what our favorite songs were or we would listen to records together and like the samethings. If you would like to talk please dont be afraid to email me at the email above. I could use somebody to talk to that is going through the samething.
Hello,
My name is Tammy and i just lost a best friend of over 30 years, We became friends when we were in kindergarten and been friends ever since. She was like the sister i never had, I could always talk to her, tell her things that i could not tell anybody else. I miss her so much. She left behind 4 wonderful children and not sure how many Grandchildren. I dont know what to do. She was having problems all her life but i stuck around her to be her support, Finally it got to a point where she was always trying to kill herself by either slicing her wrists or trying to over dose. The worst part is that i walked away doing what they call tough love. Now i wish i hadnt cause now she is gone,I wish i had not walked away like i did, I feel if i had been there for her she would still be alive. I cant seem to get it out of my head that its my fault cause when she was having problems she would always call me and we would talk or she would come and stay at my house for a few days to help her out. I miss her so terribly much, I will never find another friend like her, I would never be able to trust anybody like i trusted her. I dont know what else to say, I am at a loss for words right now. Im going to close for now and hope i get somebody to write back, if not thats fine.
Thank you so much for writing this! On October 26, 2012 i lost my best friend. He was my best friend for five years, we dated for 6th months when i first met him and this year he was my homecoming date. The day before he past away, i had just gotten my license and he was poking fun at me about how he disnt beed to drive me anywhere anymore, or take me home from school everyday, and on the day he past away we had made a bet...we always made stupid little bets that usually didnt mean anything...our last bet was that he thought i would get into a small car accident my first year driving.....one thing you should know about him is that he used to speed and i mean like doubling the speed limit...i thought he did it just when i was with him to try and impressme cause he did things like that all the time....well that night he was driving home from work at 11:45, he lost control of the car and hit a tree...his car was split in half....i found out the next morning on facebook from a girl i barely knew....he was only 16.....i hate going to school knowing that hes not going to be there....hes not going to help me with homework in the morning...hes not going to sit with me at lunch...hes not goig to send me a text during 7th period asking if i need a ride home....hes not going to be down the street if i want to hang out...hes not going to reply if i send him a text asking for advice...i miss him....and i wish he could come back because i need him.....thank you for writing this and posting it online....it means soo much that you would want to help peole going through the same thing you went through....
Thank you. I've just lost a dear friend. You've helped me. Cheers, Matt
It is not like she was just a best friend to me. She was the closest person to me. I have never felt as loved as I felt from her. She brought so much life and happiness into my life. She was diagnosed with leukemia a few months ago. I was lucky enough to be able to become her caretaker taking her to chemo treatments every day and trying my best to be her support. She finished all of her chemo treatments. We thought we were done. Until she became very sick. Noone knew what was going on. In the middle of the night her heart stopped unexpectadly. She was 21 years old. I feel lost and heart broken with out her. I am 31 weeks pregnant and have been trying to remain calm for the baby but I feel so lost.
Subscribe
Comments